How I Became a Widower (part 5)


March 4  — 12:46 a.m. – Home, bedroom

Kristen is practically braindead.  Her neurological injuries were simply too severe.  She has almost no brain activity & could have none by morning, at which time she will be declared legally dead.  I have the option of disconnecting the machines, which is something I know Kristen would want, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it, at least not yet.

My wife will be memorialized by the end of the week.  I miss her so much.  But I don’t have any regrets.  I loved my wife everyday, & I am so grateful that our relationship grew stronger, especially over the last year.  She knew I loved her, and I knew she loved me.  We were sweethearts.  She was always so good to me.  She wanted me to be happy in all things.  She worked so hard to take such good care of me.  I will always cherish the precious memories we made together.  It thrills my soul that Kristen no longer has anxiety, depression, or any other struggle.  Her peace has come.  She is whole.  She is w/ Jesus.

Dear Kristen Ann Ross,

I love you.  You were my equal in life, my partner and wife.  I will miss you everyday, dearest Wifey.  You have been my reason for living.  You were my sunshine, Kristen.  I am so glad that I told you that when we were together.  You gave my life purpose, & it was my great privilege to be your husband.

I will be OK.  Our children will be OK.  It is well with my soul.  I know your soul is overjoyed right now.  Say hi to Harmony and everyone else who has gone on before us.  I hope you are excited to see Rascal & Smokey again.

Even though I will be missing part of my heart as long as I live, I know you will always be with me.  So this is not goodbye.  I will see you again.  I may be on this earth for another 50 years, but I will be with you soon.  God still has something for me to do, Sweetie, so I can’t join you yet.  But I will be there with you as soon as God says, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”  He has already said that to you, and I am so proud of you.  I always have been.

Go now & be with Jesus.  He will make you whole.  You will never struggle again, and that fills me with joy.  Your place in Heaven fills me with joy.  Enjoy your eternal reward.

I love you so much.

❤ Joseph



March 4, 2013 – approximately 3 p.m.

Kristen Almand Ross


Be with Jesus, my love. I love you.



March 5  — 3:32 a.m. – Salisbury, Living Room

Kristen went to be w/ Jesus on March 4 at 3 p.m.  She was declared legally braindead.  The hospital had a white flag ceremony for Kristen.  Several medical staff & hospital administrators were there, & the chaplain had very encouraging things to say.  Someone read a very touching poem about the value of giving life to those in need.  I was very encouraged to learn that at Forsyth Medical maybe 14 people are able to donate organs; it is extremely rare that someone of Kristen’s age suffers brain death, leaving so many other organs healthy & viable.  The chaplain was very supportive, and the representative from the organ donation group was also very nice, welcoming, respectful, & compassionate.

I love you, Kristen!  I always will!  Amen.

❤ Joseph


Forsyth Medical ceremony honoring Kristen for being an organ donor.
Joseph A. Ross at the Forsyth Medical ceremony honoring Kristen’s decision to be an organ donor.

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